Bachelor Bar Basics

About author / Josh Gunn

Bachelor chef; southern cooking; mixologist; university professor. Josh's recipes will delight (and sometimes terrify) you.

Y'all might have noticed I've been stressing "host" style tips and meals in Bachelor Chow. I do this because if you are a single man living alone, you probably need some company, and the best way to entice company is to offer them tasty things to put in their mouths. Sure, you can entice with your dazzling repartee, but food and drink is hands-down your safest bet.

As someone who lives alone, I can attest that it's good for you to cultivate the craft of hosting so that your guests are encouraged to visit again and again, and heck, they might even return the favor. But so few single young men have a clue about hospitality these days, which is a shame. If you're fortunate enough to be a bachelor in a major city, you probably can get by without learning the craft; however, if you're stuck somewhere less ideal, somewhere with less social things to do (oh, like College Station, Texas), having folks over for dinner, games, movies, and so on is a social necessity.

Now, we know that the first food group of Bachelordom is booze. Booze is also typically one of the first things you offer a visitor (or at least a beverage of some sort). So it's important you have something on-hand to serve guests. Recently I was invited to a party at a bachelor's home and was told to help myself to the bar. I was appalled: brandies, liqueurs, and all things sugary were available, but no basic spirits like vodka or whiskey. I opted for beer, but I would have preferred a nice bourbon, of course.

Now, I realize a number of you single dudes out there ain't got a lot of bucks to spend all at once. But over many weeks you can build your bar to a respectable state. Aside from not drinking the booze you buy for your bar, the key to building a bar is this secret knowledge: people are terribly boring and lack creativity when it comes to drinks. If you have a guest and offer them a drink, they will request one of the following: (1) wine; (2) a gin and tonic; (3) a vodka martini; (4) scotch; (5) rum and coke. Some of the more adventuresome may request either a vodka sour or a "Cosmo," but these requests are rare. So get some pinot gris or noir, and then consult this list of things you need to buy to stock a respectable bachelor bar:

The Basics: vodka, gin, and rum. These three clear liquors cover most of your bases. Do not buy bottom shelf stuff, as this can induce headaches and your guests will think you’re a dolt. Safe baby bear's porridge bets for vodka are Skyy and Absolut; for gin Beefeater or Brokers; for rum, Bacardi clear is fine. If you want to appear like a yuppie bachelor, a bottle of Kettle or Grey Goose chilling in your freezer connotes "high class," but few of us can really tell the difference between mid-level and expensive vodkas (those vodkas are really like designer jeans . . . ).

The Golds: scotch, bourbon, and whiskey. If you can only afford one of the three, buy the scotch. Dewer's is a respectable blended scotch, and for a few more bucks, Johnny Walker. Any of the single-malts whose names begin with a "G" are safe. Bourbons are diverse and bourbon drinkers are picky; a safe middle-of-the-road Bourbon is Maker's Mark, and more cheaply, Jim Beam Black. Finally, the whiskey of renown is Jack Daniel's.

The Mixers: you can buy tiny, canned or bottled mixers that keep in your cupboard for a while. I usually keep canned pineapple, grapefruit, orange, and cranberry juice in my cabinets, as well as a handful of small bottles of club soda and diet tonic (few can tell the difference between diet and regular tonic in my experience).

The Fruits: fresh limes and lemons. This stuff is hard to keep on hand, and I must admit I often end up throwing them away unused. I usually buy a handful of each before I host guests, just in case.

For the Bar That Has Everything: you can branch out into other spirits and the liquors. Here in Texas, tequila is a must, but in other parts of the country folks don't drink it like water. 100% agave tequila is the only respectable kind; if the bottle doesn't say that, then it's mostly grain alcohol (which is what makes people get ill). For some reason folks at my gathers sometimes ask for tequila shots, so I usually have a small bottle tucked in my freezer.

Cointreau is a great orange liqueur used in margaritas and Cosmopolitans and is nice to have on hand (Triple Sec is a cheaper alternative). Finally, I've had good luck with a recent liqueur called X-rated. It's pink and tastes like grapefruit, and I mix it with vodka to make an "X-rated Martini." I know this is a gendered cliché, but, the lady guests have really enjoyed them—so I keep buying a bottle when I run out.