Love buffalo wings? Get that same hot, zippy flavor in everything from deviled eggs to enchiladas. And of course: wings.

A haunting chili recipe made with eye of newt, goblin gizzards, and other magic ingredients. But don't worry, it's not as scary as it sounds!
1 1/4 pound ground goblin gizzards (ground beef)
1 medium eye of cyclops (onion)
1 container (28 ounce size) blood of bat (V-8 vegetable juice)
1 can (15 ounce size) soft shelled beetles (kidney beans), rinsed and drained
1/4 teaspoon dried weed (dried oregano)
1 tablespoon dried maggots (uncooked rice)
1 dash red-tailed hawk toenails (crushed red pepper flakes)
2 teaspoons ground sumac blossom (chili powder)
1/2 cup fresh grubs (sliced celery)
1 teaspoon hemlock (sugar)
1 tablespoon eye of newt (pearled barley)
1/8 teaspoon pureed wasp (prepared mustard)
pond water (water)
Best made during the last phase of the moon, if that is not possible, just do the best you can in a softly lighted kitchen after dark. Brown the gizzards in an iron cauldron over a fire made from the siding off of a haunted house, add chopped eye of cyclops and simmer until the pieces of eye become translucent again, add blood of bat, and soft shelled beetles, bring to a slow bubbling boil. At this time, add the common weed, maggots, toenails, sumac, grubs, hemlock, eye of newt and the pureed wasp. As it cooks you may want to adjust the consistency with pond water. You can tell it is done when the eye of newt swells and the vertical tan colored 'cats eye' appears on one side.
The real directions:
Brown the ground beef in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add the onion and cook until soft. Drain off any excess grease.
Add the V-8 juice and kidney beans and bring to a boil. Add the oregano, rice, crushed red pepper flakes, chili powder, celery, sugar, barley, and mustard. Reduce the heat to a simmer and let cook until the barley is tender. Add water if needed during the cooking time.
Serve hot.
Recipe Source: Original author unknown.
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reviews & comments
October 31, 2018
I have made this recipe every year on Halloween for 10+ years now, it's literally tradition in the household. It's delicious! I've even had neighbourhood kids request it a few years in a row because it's so good. Would recommend using recipes like this to anyone to get your kids interested in cooking!
October 21, 2013
Creatively written recipe, for basic chili. My daughters school was having a holiday recipe swap and I used this one because it was easy and fun to read. The chili was ghoulishly delicious.