Widening Your Bachelor Repertoire

About author / Josh Gunn

Bachelor chef; southern cooking; mixologist; university professor. Josh's recipes will delight (and sometimes terrify) you.

Recently I had drinks with a friend at a conference in Seattle, during which I revealed that I wrote this weekly column. Her jaw dropped and she exclaimed, "you cook?"

"Yes, and I really enjoy it too."

"Wow," she said, "most guys only cook two things."

"What?" I exclaimed, playfully incredulous.

"Oh yes, most bachelors I know have this typical cooking pattern: there's a dish that he makes really, really well, you know, his 'signature,' and then a breakfast food."

We then discussed examples at some length, and I started to realize Jen was right: most single guys I know also only cook two things, something they do really well—frequently something on the grill—and then scrambled eggs. I then realized that even though I cook a large variety of things, I also tend to tout only my Cajun cooking; I try to sell myself as the guy who makes the best gumbo or jambalaya (that's my niche here). So where does this tendency to champion a single dish or two come from? Why do we bachelors do this?

I've pondered this mystery for over a week, and I think the answer is complex. On the one hand, it has to do with norms of masculinity in our country. If you are a "real man," you have three basic models: (1) you are a slob around the house, you know how to fix things, and you don't have the time or savvy enough to cook anything other than beanie weenies; (2) you a manly because the foods you cook are smoked meats, bar-b-que, or "man food" like gumbo or chili; (3) you are a "sophisticate" with complicated tastes and even more complicated recipes (think the Crane brothers from the syndicated sitcom Frasier). Jeez: this is a rather restrictive set of manhoods to adopt, isn't it? Can a real man cook but not be a sophisticate or a slob? Can a real man not cook meat? Of course he can: if he only does one or two dishes very well.

See, I think this two-dish showboating is about norms of masculinity--constricting norms. And laziness: it's just tiresome to assert your real masculinity in cooking without becoming, you know, a chef. So guys get their cooking enjoyment from one or two things they do well and just don't bother exploring other recipes. This is a shame for the guests of bachelors! It's time to assert our manly bachelorness by cooking!

So men, here's the challenge: next time you have a date, make it a cooking date. Sit down early afternoon with this website or a set of cook books and explore recipes together. Decide on something you both find interesting. Go to the grocery store as a couple and shop for your ingredients together (you'll be surprised how pleasurable grocery shopping can be with a friend). Then, come home, make yourself a beverage, have a beer, or pour yourselves a glass of wine and start leisurely preparing your meal.

Here's the beauty of this cooking-date idea: you're expanding your cooking repertoire! You may discover a new dish that you can make, or something you ought to never try again. Regardless, if you make the dinner together no one takes the blame for being a bad cook! If the meal sucks, face is still saved since it was your mutual fault. Slowly through this trial and error, you can widen your culinary menu month after month. You may still have that one dish you do very well, but eventually you'll become that unexpected bachelor that can, you know, cook stuff.