Playing Footsie With Love

About author / Josh Gunn

Bachelor chef; southern cooking; mixologist; university professor. Josh's recipes will delight (and sometimes terrify) you.

This weekend the commercialization of romantic love, or eros, reaches dizzying heights with the sudden onset illness we know as Valentine's Day. What was once a reckoning with one's feelings has become, over time, a reckoning with the pocket book: your girlfriend or boyfriend is supposed to get a gift from you, such as flowers, or chocolate, or jewelry. Unfortunately, such gift-giving has become almost compulsory in our society, which may reflect the desire to not have one's lover angry with you. The holiday should be used as an excuse to tell and show your partner how you feel, not for compulsory consumption!

Now, my CDK colleague Amy Powell has already beat me to the punch by suggesting lovers should prepare an in-home meal together for the holiday. The reason that cooking for your partner is better than going out, she suggests, is the gesture of consideration: you don't just tell your lover you love him or her, you make a gesture by preparing a meal that you know he or she will, well . . . love. It's the idea of thinking about your lover's desires that makes the gesture meaningful. But since Amy's already made the case, let me suggest another sensuous activity that seems to be a real date pleaser: foot washing and massaging.

As many of those of the Christian faith know, foot washing can be understood as a sacred rite. Apparently, in ancient cultures it was custom to have one's feet washed when entering the domicile of a friend or family member, and this was because wearing sandals made one's feet get pretty dirty. After the Last Grub it is reported Jesus washed the feet of his homies as a gesture of humility.

The idea of this gesture is that, first and foremost, dirty feet are gross, and so by cleaning someone's feet you were going above and beyond the call of duty. Second, it was considered somewhat of an indignity to wash another's feet (slaves or lower-class persons usually did this), so Christ's foot baths represented the elimination of hierarchy with love. In short, washing someone's feet communicated that you loved them, as if to say, "you're feet are so dirty and nasty, but I love you so much that I'm willing to endure that nastiness to make you happy."

Washing your partner's feet and then following this up with a creamy foot massage is a great way to tell your lover you care. After all, this was Jesus' farewell statement of love! The process is quite simple, but because of the "ewww-feet" factor it is also quite memorable (heck, if you're proposing, you might put the ring on her toe!). Here's what you'll need:

1. Towels: One towel to put on the floor under the foot bath, as well as one to use to dry the feet, are dandy.

2. A large bowl or bucket: You'll fill this with warm water when the time is right.

3. Soap or foot wash: Soap is fine. However, those body and bath shops often carry a variety of foot washes that "tingle" and smell delightful. I have used the blue "fizzing" foot wash from a major chain with much success (regrettably, not recently).

4. Cream: Some sort of moisturizer or cream to assist with the foot massage after the bath is good.

Now, what you do is light your home with a bunch of candles to create a mood. Turn on soft, pleasant music to contribute to the mood. Give the foot wash either when your lover arrives, or after dinner (your choice). I like to do it at the beginning of the evening, but I can see good arguments for waiting until after dinner, since massages can lead to other kinds of fun.

Anyhoo, when the time is right fill your bowl or bucket with warm water and add your soap. When washing your partner's feet, make it a big, elaborate production, but be very gentle throughout. When you have finished washing each foot, dry them gently and then massage-in some moisturizer. Finish your gesture of love by kissing the feet (another sign of humility and affection). And there ya go: affectionate and inexpensive.