Pretty Ugly Tomato

About author / Amy Powell

World traveler; gourmet 30 minute meals; lover of exotic ingredients; winner on FoodTV's Chefs vs City; graduate French Culinary Institute. Her recipes will tantalize your taste buds.

Men are not like tomatoes. I decided a long time ago that I could never date a man who did not fall into the “Live To Eat” category of individuals. When I made this statement to a friend I was dining with, he asked me if I prioritized this above say, attractiveness or intelligence. Without hesitation I admitted that, no, in fact, I am shallow and looks come first. This conversation occurred while eating one of the most hideous looking but lust-worthy foods in the world: an heirloom tomato. See, while in matters of love and lust, physical attractiveness is a key component. When it comes to food, such as my ugly tomato, the less appealing to look at, the more of a chance that what is inside is truly remarkable.

I lust for ugly heirloom tomatoes the way I have never craved a beautiful man. In early summer I begin my hunt, scouring supermarkets, stalking vendors at the Farmer’s market and perusing restaurant menus waiting for their arrival (Please note, I am only a stalker when it comes to food). When I finally set my eyes on one of these multi-colored, gnarled uglies, I nearly tremble with anticipation. For I simply cannot wait to bring it home, tear it open, and devour every last dripping bit of its succulent flesh.

Men are like tomatoes. Like filtering through the sea of the totally undate-able, for every 1000 pretty looking but bland, hothouse tomatoes, there exists one truly unique and glorious heirloom. And just as, amongst those rarified men, there exists one for every taste, so the heirloom tomatoes provide enough variety to satisfy every tomato lover.

Although there is no exact definition of what it means to be an heirloom tomato, it is generally understood that heirloom tomatoes are open-pollinated and never undergo genetic modification. The many varieties are usually descended from ancestors that existed pre-World War II and the subsequent industrialization of agriculture in the United States. What that means for tomato lovers or haters is that your first taste of an heirloom tomato is like eating a tomato for the very first time. Be warned, once you bite into your first purplish Brandywine, you may be sent into a fury desiring nibbles of everything from the golden Jubiliee to the dark and mysterious Black Krim.

These beastly tomatoes may come a little rough around the edges, but as any good woman knows, with some love and a little accessorizing, even the most devilish looking characters can be made presentable enough to introduce to your friends. When presenting heirlooms, and trust me, you can make a whole meal out of a tomato, it is best to serve it with complementing components that highlight its natural flavors without masking its true essence. I like a variation on the classic caprese salad (tomato, mozzarella, basil). My latest cheese obsession, the sinful burrata, literally oozes cream when cut into. Basil tossed with mixed baby greens and simple dressing of good aged balsamic and extra virgin olive oil with high quality sea salt and a bit of cracked pepper is really all you need. These elements with their variety of texture and taste, layered with thick slices of your heirloom flavor of the week, present a homely fruit in an elegance worthy of its taste.

If you shouldn’t judge a book by it cover, then you shouldn’t judge a tomato by its shape. As it is worth filtering through the duds to find a deserving man, so it worth the search for the perfect tomato. And although looks aren’t everything, we do eat with our eyes first (men and tomatoes alike) and there is nothing like playing a little dress-up to make a thing look as good as it tastes.

Serves/Makes: 4

• 2 pounds Heirloom tomatoes, any variety
• 1 pound buratta cheese
• 6 cups mixed baby salad greens
• 1 handful basil
• sea salt
• black pepper
• 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
• 4 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, plus extra