But, Does She Cook?

About author / Josh Gunn

Bachelor chef; southern cooking; mixologist; university professor. Josh's recipes will delight (and sometimes terrify) you.

Although official figures are hard to come by, my dating experience has taught me that expectations for nubile women are changing dramatically with each new generation. Over the past couple of years I have had a number of young women stay overnight in my guest room ('cause I don't shack-up on the first or even second date). On the morning after I have heard, more than once, variations of this sentence: "I did not make the bed. Is that OK? I really don't know how to make them."

I admit I no longer make-up my own bed every day. However, growing up my mother taught me to make up my bed. She also taught me how to iron and even how to properly clean a toilet with cleaner that smells like liquid pine trees. Today, however, it would seem that families are no longer teaching young people to do what I was taught to do. Is "home economics" no longer required in junior high?

This brings me to the question of bachelorette cooking skills: in our postmodern times, is it appropriate for bachelors to expect their lovers to cook? A friend was asking me such a question not too long ago, and it occurred to me I have never really asked the question myself. As someone who enjoys cooking, and especially cooking for others, it has often been a bonus to me if my girlfriend didn't cook (all the more reason why my cooking seemed impressive). In fact, the last two folks I had serious, long-term relationships with did not cook at all. Is this state of affairs, however, lamentable? Should I expect women to know what to do in the kitchen? My answer is, unequivocally, no.

It's not that women should be expected to know how to cook, it's that everyone should be expected to know how to cook something. Bachelor Chow, of course, is premised on the very idea that single men should know something about the kitchen. But so should women---so should everybody.

Gone are the days of rigid gender roles and the tired division of labor that says men cannot change diapers and women cannot change the oil. Frankly, I'm glad that's the case, because I don't fix nuthin'. I saw a t-shirt one day that really stuck with me: "Just because I'm a man does not mean I can fix your car." I mean, I like the fact that I can whip up an impressive meal and that my girl can sit on the sofa, drink beer, and scratch her belly. We've come a long way from June and Ward. Of course, we've also come to the days when June and Judy and Warren and Ward can happily share domestic duties as well. This means the question "but, does she cook?" can refer to a marital hopeful as much as it can the mailman.

In these mix-and-match times, it therefore does not make sense to expect only women to cook, or only men to change oil. That's why it's important to stress that everyone should know how to cook at least three dishes. In a world in which everyone knew how to fix three distinct dishes, it really wouldn't matter who hooked up with whom: everyone would have six tempting meal-time possibilities! Just think how equitable at least the dinner table would be! And don't stop there . . . by devoting ourselves to learning how to cook, we might engender world peace. Or at the very least, as the bumper sticker goes, whirled peas!